


Confession

by Locklas



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alpha G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Canon Related, Comfort/Angst, Dark Knight Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Dubious Consent, Implied Aymeric de Borel/Warrior of Light - Freeform, Implied Estinien Wyrmblood/Warrior of Light - Freeform, M/M, Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Meteor Warrior of Light, Midlander Warrior of Light, Missing Scene, Omega Warrior of Light, POV G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch, Top G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch, Unnamed Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:35:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Locklas/pseuds/Locklas
Summary: G'raha Tia has been attracted to Warrior of Light since they first met, but didn't have the chance to start a romantic relationship. After he aka Crystal Exarch had lead the hero into Crystarium, the desire once buried deep in his mind grew up again.*Exarch's first person pov*spoilers for 5.0 main story
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light, Past Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Confession

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [【公光】自白 / Confession](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21489865) by [Locklas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Locklas/pseuds/Locklas). 



> I'm not a native speaker so if there's any mistake or misuse please let me know ;w;  
> I hope you'll like it and I'm looking forward to your comments!

The first time I saw the hero, I was drawn to him.

Thanks to my sense as a vigorous Miqo'te, from afar I smelt a scent of La Noscean oranges mixed with a light sea breeze. I had just killed a wild boar that attacked me while I was collecting water-blessed minerals, filled with bloodlust and irritation, when the aroma wafted over and pacified me, reminding me of my homeland beyond the North Sea. I hid on a tree to get a good look at the unexpected visitor, realising that he was the adventurer who had recently made the headlines among the national newspapers for having fought off the Ultima Weapon. In a good mood I told him the location of the wind-touched abrasives and offered him a personal match. Although it was disingenuous of me not showing up at all, I did not hesitate to pay him all my compliments seeing him charge into the enemies so valiantly and gallantly.

I'd always been a sucker for stories of heroes since I was a kid. They were guiding me like stars. And here now a real hero showed up in front of me, who was helping with the research on the Crystal Tower. It might have been my wisest decision all my life that I'd come to Eorzea at just the rightest time.

I am actually an Alpha, but I didn't have any strength beyond the common apart from my red right eye, and my pheromone was too faint to be noticed even by myself. It wasn't surprising being treated like a Beta, nor had I ever met an Omega who struck my fancy. But when I saw him, I knew he was exactly the one like whom I wanted to be, though the smell of orange was a little too rare for an Alpha. It was him who made the expression "beautiful" successfully comparable with "strong".

It wasn't until the night before we left for the World of Darkness, when I couldn't fall asleep and wanted to have a talk with the hero, that I witnessed him in his tent, shivering and shaking, trying to grab a bag from a shelf beside him, but unable to get up at all, finally holding both hands tightly over his mouth so that he could make no sound. The tempting scent spilled out from his neck, wrapping around me like an invisible vine. My head buzzed and a hot wave flowed into my crotch. Tears welled up in his sapphire eyes, and he looked to me for help. Trying to restrain myself from lunging at him like a predator, I moved my limbs stiffly towards the shelf, fetched a small box from the bag and poured out a pill. I passed it to his lips with water, allured, imagining the softness and warmth of his wet tongue, but he insisted on taking it with his own hands. After several swallows, his flush faded and the redolence dissipated. He thanked me in a somewhat hoarse voice and, noticing my pitched tent, offered to help me for once as amends. I nodded in a daze and my hero knelt between my legs. His axe-wielding hands took hold of my hardness and started to fondle it. The shame and pleasure of being touched like that for the first time in my life, by a hero I deeply admired, made my legs go limp. And to top it all off, he looked up at me and, realising I'd been staring at him for a while, his lips curved up. Overwhelmed in fluster I reached my climax promptly, making his hands and face defiled. I hurriedly apologized, but he chuckled and soothed me back. He wiped off the cum and added, "So male Miqo'te do have barbs on their things… amazing." My face was utterly red on fire and I fled without even hearing his pep talk about the next day.

I would never regret the decision I made after remembering everything about the Royal Eye, but it also cost me the opportunity to be with my hero, nor can I ever be able to witness his saga with my own eyes. I rudely forced everyone including him out of the Tower. Maybe I should have explained myself beforehand. Thankfully they understood me at last. I used to stand in the crowd and watch Hero enter the Tower for a new mission, but this time I myself became the one being looked at. Even I for once could do something heroic like him. I called him by his name for the last time. _Stay active and alive, my hero, 'cause you know no matter how much time passes, I'll always keep my eyes on you._ I stared at him, carving his figure onto the softest part in my heart. I knew I would have a sweet dream with his presence.

He did remember my words, as well as my true name.

He had probably recognized me before entering the Ocular for the first time. How I wished I could take off my cowl right away and easily admit I was G'raha Tia and then come up to embrace him and even give a peck on his lips. But I couldn't. I had to conceal the fact, or the efforts by everyone during the last 300 years would have been totally wasted. My hero must never know who I am, otherwise he cannot be saved. It was already good enough for me that he'd come to me anyway. When I was to slumber, I couldn't even imagine him being alive and so reachable in front of me ever again.

Time had left more traces on him since we last met, and I knew that he had done a lot of things. I have a whole pile of story books and hymns about his legends in my Umbilicus. Over the years in which I prepared for his arrival, I always spent my leisure time with those books atop the watchtower next to the rookery, just as I did when I was a kid. My lifespan had been combined with the Tower, therefore time had become the least of my concerns. Only him—only saving him and the world he cherishes, was the most glorious mission into which I was willing to devote everything including my life.

Speaking of dedicating one's life—in connection with my discovery of some small changes on Hero's body—among the histories I had read of the Dragonsong was there a memoir by a servant at the Fortemp's, which was classified as wild history but still treasured by me. It recorded the friendship and…… love, that spanned life and death between Warrior of Light and an Elezen. I confess it made me long jealous when I read that four-character word. The saintly Paladin, Haurchefant Greystone, who by most accounts provided shelter for Hero when he was in desperation, became his solid support and companion, and died protecting him in the Vault, was implied in this memoir to have a more intimate relationship with him, perhaps even eternal bonded. This also helped to explain why Hero's pheromone was no longer pure as I had memorized, but mixed with some scent of cedar and snow.

I couldn't help thinking of the late Paladin as a rival, even though I respected him. And rather coincidentally, we had in some ways done the same thing for our hero. Had I not chosen to slumber in the Crystal Tower, I would have heard about the riots in Ul'dah soon afterwards and, being my style, I might have taken him back to Sharlayan before the Elezen could reach him. Perhaps hiding my hero inside the Tower would also sound a good idea.

But I'm not the same person as I was. Now I don't want to seize and to possess the Light alone. I just want to be the mirror that makes him shine even brighter. I will help him reflect into the right direction and escape the never-ending darkness of the Eighth Umbral Calamity.

Thanks to my arrival in the First a hundred years earlier than expected, I had sufficient time to make Crystarium comfortable enough for Hero to live in. The entire city would be his logistics department in this world. I kept a spacious and secluded room in the Pendants for him, which I cleaned by myself every day—a habit I had somehow maintained for years. After my hero had moved in, I couldn't resist climbing into his bed as he set out on missions, greedily sniffing his scent from the bedding, and sometimes even rubbing off several red hairs, which I would each time clean up to make sure he could never be aware of my visit.

I also couldn't help using the mirror in the Ocular to observe my hero's whereabouts. It's hard to say whether I was peeping with impure thoughts or just watching over him against any potential danger. There had been times when I'd been so preoccupied that I was almost startled by Lyna's knocking. By good luck she's in the good habit and my peeking had never been perceived. In fact there's another unspoken reason—I was curious as to how the hero went through his heat after the bond partner had gone. After all, everything I'd read and seen told me that a marked Omega has fewer, shorter but severer heats and that only the marker is the most effective treatment. I wasn't sure if it would work or not, but I still asked for some medicine from the Crystalline Mean to keep in his room and took some with me, just in case. I also had to admit that not long after entering the Tower, I did have a bit of an erotic dream, in which I marked my Hero with bonds and my name changed from "Tia" to "Nunh"…… Nevertheless, when part of myself transformed into crystal, I felt as free of desire as a true sage. Perhaps even my heart was crystalised, but I still held him tenderly and carefully deepest in the softest coner.

It didn't take long for my worry to turn into reality when Hero returned from Il Mheg with the Scions.

In the evening I was to pay a visit and ask if the sandwiches I'd prepared were to his taste. But as I walked into in the corridor I suddenly smelt my long-beloved fragrance of La Noscean oranges. I rushed over and bumped into his room, only to be overwhelmed by the drowning sweet aroma, which made me feel as dizzy as if I had been immersed in a jar of honey. I cast a spell to seal up the door so that no more dangerously enticing aroma would leak out any further, and then turned back to face the scantily clad hero on the bed. He didn't even seem to be aware of my presence and kept biting his wrist, which was already bleeding. I quickly pulled his arm away, but he was still in unconsciousness and the unfocused eyes wandered onto me for a second before he suddenly struggled violently, uttering muffled growls like "go away" and "don't touch me". I felt a strain on my heart, had he been badly treated due to the absence of his Alpha…… It was my fault not having made enough preparations thus reminding my hero of the pain.

I kept him from attacking me with barely enough force, which I would normally be unable to do, but this time was his most vulnerable period and I made it easily. It was useless to call his name. He just stared blankly at me in fear, as if he would fight wildly backwards whenever anyone approaches him. But I wouldn't let him hurt himself neither.

"'Hope it makes you feel a little better……" I took a gauze from the cupboard, blindfolded him and tied a small bowknot. I did it very gently and he gradually stopped struggling, but still trembled and moaned uncontrollably. I held him up, dropping small kisses on his eyes over the gauze, and let him lean into my arms, bringing the prepared suppressant to his mouth and coaxing him to take it.

He parted his lips to have the pill in his mouth, while licking my fingertips with his nimble hot soft tongue like toying with a lollipop. He made sticky, lustful sounds intentionally in his breath, as if he was sucking my shaft instead.

A thrill went down my spine, my head was about to explode and my arousal was sore from the pressure of the boxers—I had a long-overdue boner. I tried my best to calm down so that I wouldn't impulsively push him down and fuck him into a mess, but I knew my restraint could sustain no longer.

He smiled innocently at me when he realised my erection against his back and rolled over to grope up for my face, which I stiffly accepted as a somewhat awkward kiss. He nibbled my lower lip and murmured, "why…… what are you waiting for…… Haurchefant?……" The name finally pulled my trigger and I bit back hard on his lips and pinned him roughly onto the matress. Hearing him grunt in pain caused a guilty and burning agitation inside me. My uncrystallised left hand reached between his thighs and with no effort found the Omega's particular honeypot hidden beneath his member. The hole, which was only accessible during the heat, was already dripping wet, opening and closing invitingly. He whined in pleasure as I dug my fingers in, the inner wall sucking me in tight as if not allowing me to leave. My whole body was screaming with blood, but I still did a responsible job of dilating.

There're barbs on Miqo'te's tounges and penises, and one biological theory is that they're used to scrape out others' sperm in order to assure the bloodlines. _Scraping out……_ I quickly shoved away the dangerous thoughts that arose in my head for a moment. The barbs would have been hardly bearable if not for Miqo'te Omegas or female Betas of other races.

I applied some wound cream as lube onto my stuff, trying not to hurt him. As I forced in, I planted soft kisses along his chest, lingering over his scars. The ones that had turned to be faint, the ones that had left grim lines, and the new ones that scabbed over in Il Mheg, all of them are my hero's medals. He wrapped his arms around my back, scratching when it hurt, but most of my body had crystalised and I couldn't feel the pain he caused me, nor could he leave any mark on me…… I smiled bitterly inside. It was probably hard and cold how he felt me in his arms.

His body gradually adapted for me and began to meet my pace. He tilted his head, revealing the beautiful line of his neck, which for a predator is an active sign of submissiveness. Like all the other Alphas I was also seduced to trace down the fascinating aroma to the source and bared my fangs to take a bite—of course nothing happened on him. His pheromone was still covered by a light but firm scent of cedar on the snowy highlands. Hero would never be my Omega and I could neither force him to bond with me by unethically impregnating him. I shook my head to sober up and gave up knotting, not until this moment had I realised my cowl was already shaken off. Fortunately my hero was still blindfolded and didn't have the strength to touch my fluffy ears.

I barely pulled myself out just before squirting. I licked up his juice clean, all kinds of his smell my favourite. Then I dosed my sleeping hero and tidied up the room to make sure no more tantalising pheromones came out before I left.

The next day Hero visited me in the Ocular alone and thanked me with slight blush on his cheeks but rather sincerely. Seeing me surprised, he explained that a guy called Fray would be temporarily "watching" his body while his mind wandered off, who also told him afterwards that the Crystal Exarch had helped him. Thank goodness that Mr. Fray didn't know me in the Source nor did he tell anyone about my red Miqo'te ears. I supposed to him with little expectation, that I might be able to help him undergo his heat in the future, as it was safer here inside the Tower than anywhere else. No sooner had I said it than I wanted to eat my words. There're so many companions around him, it would never be my turn to volunteer. The hero, however, agreed almost readily, thanking me again in earnest. That in fact he had been taken care of during heats by two best friends of his late partner, who were still in the Source, one in command on the battle in the Ghimlyt Dark, and the other being nowhere to find again after rescuing him from that infamous Zenos. Thus might I literally be his most reasonable choice. _Oh, well,_ I smiled, _I'll be sure to live up to your trust, my Light, please take here and me as your safest harbour in the First._

From then on, I counted the days on the calendar, and when my hero was going into heat, I would have finished my business in advance and tell Lyna not to allow any disturbance so that I could have a private talk with _Warrior of Darkness_. How strange it was, that each time he came to see me in the Ocular, I, the Alpha side, couldn't resist my joy as if a concubine being visited by her lord. I would serve him reverently with my tongue and phallus which we Miqo'te are so proud of. He was rarely conscious when in heat, but I knew Fray would be watching me, so I never made any unnecessary acts that might leave him clues on who I was.

Our sexual relationship lasted until Hero's departure for Eulmore. According to my plan, I was to take all the light from him and plunge into the Rift after he had confronted the last Lightwarden hiding in Kholusia. His body was already a little worn out, which made me worry a lot, but I needed him persevere anyway until he absorbed the last of them. Hearing that Hero and his fellows had reopened the Ladder abandoned for nearly a century with the help of Eulmore citizens in pursuit of Vauthry, I knew this would be my last journey with my Warrior of Light.

I left the management of Crystarium to Lyna, trying to make light of it as much as possible without sounding like a testament, and then headed off to Kholusia alone with a tiny teleportor connected to the Tower's energy centre.

With the roar of the Ladder, the ground got farther and farther away, and the sight became wider and wider. It was a view I'd never seen on a chocobo, an amaro or an airship. Had I some more time, it would have been nice to build a similar elevator outside the Tower. After join Hero at the top of the cliff, we discussed the way to Mt. Gulg. Seeing those Scions, who had travelled all over Norvrandt as companions of Hero, using their contacts and skills to support Master Chai's plan, reminded me of the Namazu, the moogles, the Ixal, the dragons and the sky pirates who had ever been associated with the hero coming all along to assist during the Eighth Umbral Calamity. It was THEM who made me believe, this world, these two worlds, are not doomed. There always were, are, and will be a group of people who are striving for a common future.

The short but exciting trip with my hero to Tomra in search of the earthseed was one of the most enjoyable adventures I'd had in my past three hundred years. It was almost as if we two were truly fighting side by side, if not with our unarmed friend. The way my hero fought made me obsessed, and my infatuation was even spotted by the small dwarf, who complimented us knowingly on what a good pair we'd made, almost having me misread my spells…… Nonetheless, I was still slightly unwell after being away from the Tower for too long. My hero had also been concerned about me on top of the Ladder. But in order that he wouldn't worry, after getting the earthseed, I suggested he take the dwarf back to the village while I carry the ore to Master Chai. Not wanting to incommode others, I wandered around to have some fresh air.

I thought of many things but each ended up with HIM in my mind. Our first encounter, our adventure in the Crystal Tower, his gaze on me while the gate shut…… and the scenes in books when he confronted Nidhogg with spear tightly held in his hand, when he fought against hundreds and won the champion at the Naadam, when he charged at the head into Doma Castle, when he defeated Shinryu above the Royal Menagerie…… He even took Alexander and OMG during his adventures, which two were afterwards developed to cross time and space together with the Crystal Tower! Thanks to unnamed wandering minstrels who wrote countless songs of his legends in place of me, his tales had been sung from generation to generation. When the great Talos was built and he executed the last Lightwarden, his journey in the First would come to the end. This new incredible story of Hero might never be known to the descendants in the Source without the Calamity, but I believe the ones in those vanished two hundred years, who had given their all to save Warrior of Light, will hear it. _They will hear it._

Unwilling though, I still fell asleep at last. In the darkness I heard someone calling me. I knew it was him. I sobered up once I unconsciously let out some words I'd never say as Crystal Exarch but as G'raha Tia, noticing he'd been staring at me for a while. He must have sensed something, but said nothing and sat down beside me after telling me about the progress. It was the first time I had plucked up courage to ask Hero about his future plans. After all, centuries ago I hadn't expected the separation to come so suddenly, and now, if I didn't ask, I would never ever have the chance again. I supposed that whatever his plans were, his future would certainly be bright. _So don't worry, my Light, the Eighth Umbral Calamity won't come twice and everything you cherish will never leave you, I promise you._ But out of expectation he asked me back about what _I_ actually wanted to do when it was all over. What I want to do…… I want…… to take off my cowl and talk to him without any disguise after saving him. I want to hear his adventures personally and tell him my own story. I also want to compose the most beautiful and impressive epics for him…… I wish I could ride along with him above the eternal wind across the seven seas, and in the end _carve my name on his tombstone_ …… _**I wish I could be (had been) present in your future (past).**_ I almost poured out my real thoughts. Luckily my hero was naive enough for me that he still regarded "the person" I'd mentioned many times with no suspicion.

I snuck up behind the Scions all the way to Vauthry, watching out of the hall like a tiger patiently waiting for its prey. When Hero had absorbed the last radiance of the light, the sky darkened and he, too, began to collapse.

I resisted the urge to rush up to him, to embrace him, to comfort him and to take all the light out of him, deliberately but awkwardly disguising myself as a villain and telling a lie that I could almost hardly act out on my own even I'd practised for thousands of times. Urianger fulfilled his promise and stopped the others from approaching me. He is a man just like me who knows how to make the smallest sacrifice for the greatest happiness. I really appreciated his understanding.

As light weighed more and more on me, I could hear my soul shattering inside against my crystalised shield. It turned out that Hero had suffered so much all these days…… but besides the physical torment, his gaze in surprise at me and his hand reaching out to me hurt me more. "Your tale will continue," I struggled on a smile, as my cowl was blown backwards by a gust of light, and he called out my name at once. I was finally able to face him with my true self, but it was also time for me to leave. _Thank you, and farewell, my friend—my inspiration—my Hero._ However, just as I made the final transmission of the light, I was struck from behind.

What a musket made in Garlemald!—I was in so much pain that I directly fell onto the ground and lost my consciousness, unable to make any sound.

I woke up to a sight more horrific than the Seventh Hell. Were it the Final Days…… the earth cracking, the sky burning, stars pouring down while unimaginable beasts hovering all around, limbs and torsos and howls from unknown sources…… My body hurt, but I was still alive. It sounded like someone were fighting above, which must have been Hero and his fellows. They seemd to have killed a vicious deamon. But then Emet-Selch appeared and it simply became a one-sided crush.

I had to go up there. I grabbed a stone and climbed upwards, which immediately turned into a fragment of an Ishgardian roof tile, and the corpse next to me suddenly moved and grew the face of Biggs Ⅲ. I turned away and continued to ascend. A hand from nowhere took hold of my ankle and she said, "Help me," in a Gridanian accent. I broke away from her and stepped over another half corpse in Immortal Flames uniform, standing onto a broken pillar with Gyr Abanian griffin emblem. My arm got cut by a samurai blade stuck in a crevice, then I passed by a broken Maelstrom standard. It was too far…… I could barely hold on any longer, but soon I heard the hero say in a strange but familiar tone, "This world will not end. And my adventure, as well as our future, will go on." Ah, he _IS_ my Thaliak, my Azeyma, who once more gave me the strength to _take another step_.

I climbed over the bodies of all those who died in the Eighth Umbral Calamity. **I must go up.**

"How can you stand against me by yourself?!" Emet-Selch saddened his voice, staring the Warrior who was alone in the vanishing glare.

"No, we stand together!" I must have looked like a mess at the moment, but I gritted my teeth and hissed out the cruelest words I'd ever said in my life, "I could not well leave matters half-finished."

With my last ounce of strength, I cast the summoning spell,  
"Let expanse contract, eon become instant! Warriors from afar, heroes beyond the rift, heed my call and reclaim our future!—"

* * *

The sun rises up from the depths of the sea. It must have been just as warm in ancient times as it is now in Amaurot.

That time has passed after all, and we humans, even as ephemeral lives, are creating our own new history.

Dwelling on the past can only stop us from moving forward, and our hero, both Warrior of Light and Darkness, will certainly lead us into the future.

A bit awkwardly I showed up at last, too embarrassed to meet his eyes when my wish to see him in truthfulness was finally fulfilled.

I faltered my apologies, ready for a once-in-a-century lecture by my respected warrior. But he only smiled and said, "'Tis good to see you awake, G'raha Tia", as if I was still the same naughty wild young Miqo'te, having been just waken up from a sweet nice dream in the Crystal Tower.

For reasons of the time paradox, I cannot return to the Source with Hero yet. I was supposed to have fallen apart in the Rift, but now I am safe and sound in the Ocular. I have to find a way to help the Scions (perhaps including myself, as my wish) back. My hero has also been visiting me from time to time these days and, to my gladness in some way, he has occasionally become willing to make out with me when he's not in heat.

In any case, I am and will always be his safest harbour, at least in the First.

"The opportunistic Exarch didn't make off and lived a happy life with his hero in the new world" is to be the true end of my own story to tell, isn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> Actually I wrote the original version in Chinese last year when I finished with Shadowbringers. At first I didn't understand why Crystal Exarch acted so devotionally for WoL, even though I knew he is G'raha, until I saw his past in the Umbilicus and thought of him kneeling towards WoL as if a supplicant to his God—who unintentionally but indeed lit the mere light and hope in the whole darkness of Calamity. And Exarch is the last one alive to carry on the obligation. He has been already alone and "dead" since he blended himself with the Tower. He "lived" the past century only for his faith, which I dare say had turned to a degree into some personal feelings. Had he chance or time, he would probably have become a partner of WoL, unlike other "colleagues" (at the beginning) of the Seventh Dawn, but more a friend and follower.  
>   
> I'm really happy when I see the end of 5.3 that his dream of going with his hero finally came true, though I'm still confused if the two souls indeed mixed fine, as Exarch has seemed a different individual from G'raha for me. I had expected G'raha only accepted the memory, experience and skills from Exarch. But now I can't stop feeling that the future of G'raha has been taken away from "another himself"……


End file.
